This post is part of a small series I’m doing where I follow up on things I mentioned in passing in previous posts, with a more robust report. Here is the update on my feelings on all-gender changing rooms.

When I lived in St James Town, I swam at the community centre and the pool had brand-new (built in 2021) all-gender changing rooms. I was hesitant at first, as I do not like to be undressed in front of anyone I don’t know, and before I only had to deal with one gender. But it turned out I loved it because all-gender changing rooms, as imagined by the City of TO, meant MAX PRIVACY FOR ALL and I never had to be undressed in front of anyone. Everyone changed in a little stall and there was no public changing area at all. The showers were in the pool area to make it absolutely crystal clear you were supposed to shower in your suit and everyone just followed the logic of the built environment and it was great. I saw and was seen by far fewer strangers than in any other changing area I’d ever been to and felt far more comfortable. I sincerely hope and somewhat expect that anyone gender-nonconforming or trans felt great there to but for this extremely cis, extremely conforming nervous lady born in 1978, the ungendered changing areas were a GIFT.

Now I live in North York and the nearest pool I could find is at a non-city-owned gym, and they have gendered changing areas. There are a few modesty changing stalls, which believe me I use, but most people seem to subscribe to the “we’re all girls here” motto, which means I have seen a lot of everyone’s junk, including when we were midconversation. Also sometimes the modesty changing stalls are not available and I have to change in the common area and then someone comes and asks me how my day is going. It is a friendly gym, which the St James Town one wasn’t, mainly, so points for North York there, but I just don’t want to be friendly with anyone until we are both wearing pants. Call me a prude. I AM a prude. It’s ok. Good fences make good neighbours. Good pants make good neighbours.

There is a all-gender family changing room that is for people to go in with little kids and there are a lot of signs that say that if you are bringing little kids in you HAVE to use the family changing room, and this is manifestly not 100% followed. I don’t know why not, but I suspect the all-gender thing could be a reason. But there is also a reason someone put up the signs to start with, and I bet it is a person like me but with more moxie. Because say what you will about the “we’re all girls here” walk to the shower fully nude crowd—they don’t LOOK at your goods. Whereas the random children (sometimes up to eight-year-olds) that people bring in from time to time and then release to the wilds fully gawp, sometimes sometimes while blocking locker traffic. I do not like it. I will never say anything, due to lack of moxie, but I long but the good old all-gender changing room, where no one could look at anyone.

I realize the thesis of this seems to be—trans people aren’t the problem, children are the problem. Well…