Rhubarb

We went to a reading on Monday evening on Roncy (The Northern! The Exclusion Zone! and Field Work! get after them!) We were early (coming from North York to almost anywhere, you can’t judge the timing and I’m almost always early or late for things) and took a lap around the neighbourhood. I spotted a likely looking produce shop and went in to look for rhubarb, leaving Mark on a bench. Returning:

Mark: Success?
RR: Yes! $13.50 worth of fresh Ontario rhubarb!
Mark: That’s great.
RR: It seemed like that sort of neighbourhood.
Mark: Uh-huh.
(walking)
RR: Do you actually even like rhubarb? Or is this really just my thing?
Mark: I like it in certain things.
RR: Like what?
Mark: Pie. Desserts.
RR: So you don’t like the plain stewed rhubarb that I make?
Mark: Well…I don’t know if I’ve had that.
RR: You’ve had it many times. I make it every year, and you eat it. It’s like applesauce, only it’s rhubarb.
Mark: Oh? Well, I don’t remember. I guess?
RR: You don’t remember eating it or you don’t remember if you liked it?
Mark: If I ate it, I guess I liked it.
RR: You go along with lots of things you don’t like.
Mark: It’s just so hard to tell the difference sometimes.
RR: Between things you like and things you don’t like?
Mark: Look, we haven’t had this…thing in a long time.
RR: WE HAVE IT EVERY SPRING! It’s rhubarb and sugar cooked and in a dish!!!
Mark: I don’t know what to tell you.

Part 2: The next day, I read the above dialogue to Mark to check it for accuracy and we had a follow-up conversation.

RR: Anything you want to add? Subtract?
MS: What I was trying to say is that it’s hard to tell the difference between things I like and things I’m just eating to get along.
RR: Ok, well, a) where do you want me to insert that?
MS: Maybe it’s just implied.
RR: Should it be a footnote?
MS: No, it’s fine.
RR: And b) is this a larger issue in our marriage that we need to work on?
MS: No.
RR: Because ideally, I would stop handing you plates of food you don’t like and you just eat them.
MS: Well…
RR: Like, tonight for dessert, for example, I will cook all that rhubarb and then I will eat some—but you can have grapes!
MS: Sure, if that’s what you want…
RR: It’s not what I— What do YOU want?
MS: Tell you what: let’s both have the rhubarb tonight and I will make a concerted effort to decide if I like it or not.
RR: …CAN you do that?
MS: I’m really going to try. And now I’m going for a walk.
RR: Ok. I was going to go with you, but honestly, I think you should maybe be alone for a bit.

Recipe

How you make stewed rhubarb is, you take all the rhubarb you have that you haven’t set aside for other recipes, and you wash it, and then you cut of the grimy looking ends and throw them away/in the compost if your building isn’t dwelling in 1987 and has compost. Then you chop all the rest into bite-sized pieces and put them in a pot. Then put a very little bit of water in, much less than you are thinking. Certainly not to cover—maybe an inch in the bottom of the pot? And some sugar—less than you are thinking of that too, but you can add more sugar later (you can also use maple syrup instead of sugar, if you have extra on hand). Turn the heat on medium and stir a bit, and then wander around the kitchen doing other stuff. Come back and stir every couple minutes, it’ll cook down pretty fast. If it starts to cook too fast (like bubbling up in the pot), turn down the heat a bit. Once it’s a proper sauce and looks like all one substance (as opposed to a bunch of cut-up bits in water), turn down the heat anyway but keep cooking until it’s a thickness you like. Now would e good time to taste a bit and see if you’d like more sugar. If so, add some. When the sweetness and thickness are ok, take it off the heat and let it cool until it’s cool enough to eat. Eat. Some people (my mominator) would put this over vanilla ice cream, which is very good but I like it best just by itself. At press time, Mark thinks he also likes it, but who can say for sure.

Also: if you really like rhubarb, perhaps you would like my favourite perfume, which has rhubarb top notes? It is called Perfect by Marc Jacobs. Some might say that many of the very sweet perfumes Marc Jacobs make are for a younger set (if you click the link there and look at the bottle, you’ll see what I mean) but I find Perfect just very fun, light and wearable. And gently rhubarby!