I went on a retreat with my bookclub this past weekend. A few years ago I had never heard of a bookclub retreat but then I started hearing about them and now I have participated. Honestly, it was the nicest thing I’ve done in a while. 10/10 would retreat again.
The organizer asked anyone wanted to lead an activity and since it was somewhat on-theme, I offered to lead a journal-writing activity. On par for the group, this was enthusiastically taken up, but we ran out of time and only got to do half of it. Should you wish to do a journal-writing exercise at some point, I will share it here.
I haven’t had the opportunity to teach memoir but I have been reflecting on it a lot since the publication of These Days Are Numbered, and this is the exercise I came up with. The first half is to think of a story about your life you tell all the time, one that you really love. A story about yourself or your family or friends maybe that, when you notice a conversation heading in a relevant direction, you start to get a little excited, thinking, “Ohhh, an opportunity to tell that story.” It might be something funny or dramatic about your family, that time you met a celebrity, the way you met your partner, a time you saved the day at work, or something went wrong in your life in a funny way. Maybe not exactly those things but you get the idea.
You probably know the story really well and actually have a semi-polished way of telling it—certain turns of phrase or ways of describing things that work really well, places that you pause or rush on, but you might never have actually written it out, thought that much about the exact way you sequence the words. Write it out now, in a few paragraphs, thinking carefully about exactly how you tell it—the best most satisfying way, this really good story that you love. Pick something that brings you joy to share with people, that you look forward to telling. Nothing that feels awkward or difficult to talk about, or dull. A great story.
Back at the retreat, I gave everyone about 20 minutes to write and then asked if anyone wanted to read aloud—some did, some didn’t. I really enjoyed what was shared—such a wide variety of stories, and all so engaging and full of life and personality and really reflective of each writer. Which is how memoir should be written, of course.
The second part of the exercise was to take a quotidian moment from the past week, something with nothing very special about it—the grocery store shop, a quick visit with the neighbour, a squabble with a family member, a work meeting that went nowhere—and tell it with the same verve and energy and precision that you brought to the first piece. I think that’s how I tell all my stories, and also why I never get anything done maybe… But it’s also a fun way to write and an interesting way to experience life!
And a short dialogue as bonus! Real ones know this is a manifestation of a longstanding issue.
RR (stares hard at email, yells) What time is it in Central Time?
MS (wandering down the hall) It is one hour earlier.
RR: Ok…
MS: So in Winnipeg right now it is 3:30pm.
RR: Ok…
MS (arrives in RR’s office) Ok?
RR: Ok. So I can’t go to a Zoom meeting at 9am Central Time tomorrow.
MS: You can…
RR: I can?
MS: Because when it’s 9am Central Time, here it’s…
RR: 8am?
MS: No, it’s one hour earlier in Central Time, so if 9am there, here it’s…
RR (tense, almost trembling): …8am?
MS: No, what’s wrong with you? 10am.
RR (wails) I can’t do time zones, you know that.
MS (hugs her) It’s ok. I’ll help you.
RR: Ugh, what is on your shirt?
MS: Where? Oh no, gunk. I gotta go put this in the laundry.
RR: Taken together we are one functional person.
