Friends, I started writing this really complicated post as a gift to myself for my birthday—my birthday that was two weeks ago—and everything has become chaos since then and the newsletter seems to have gone on hold. So—a few things in the meantime that are not the mega post but are nice/interesting/something.

1) I am still taking French, and it is my kind of fun, aka very weird. We covered the past conditional by talking about our life regrets for three consecutive classes and my class of 8 embraced that to really varying degrees. I took it to heart and am feeling a lot of kinds of ways about some of my past choices but some people really chose not to do any inward reflection (ERIC!) Now we are working on self image and social media and the subjunctive. I don’t know why it all has to be so deep—can’t we talk about summer vacations? ANYWAY, what I like about learning more French is WORDS! Words are great. I have found all these really fun connections between English and French, which no one else in the class cares about and I think even the prof is humouring my enthusiasm but I swear it’s cool—anyway, Mark is enthusiastic and perhaps you care too? French, to make more beautiful, embellir = English to embellish, and then you see the root word belle hiding right there inside it? French jaw = mâchoire, English to chew = mastication. Fun fact, the movie Jaws was called Les Dents de la mer (The Teeth of the Sea) in French, because I guess MACHOIRE did not have the right ring to it (though I think it kind of does). Anyway, perhaps the best weird word connection has been discovered by Mark, despite the fact he speaks almost no French: French for fish—poisson, Greek god of the sea, Poseidon!!!!!

2)

Mark (makes sandwich)
RR (makes salad)
Mark: I think I’m going to open the new fancy mustard.
RR (nods absently)
MS If that’s all right with you?
RR: Yeah? What, you think I have in mind a more special day, more worthy of the first dollop of dijon mustard out of that jar?
MS: No, of course not. (opens jar, spoons mustard onto sandwich)
RR (makes poached eggs to put on salad) You know what I crave sometimes?
MS: What?
RR: Devilled eggs.
MS: Oh! Well, where does one buy devilled eggs?
RR: I don’t think you can buy them. I think you have to make them yourself. It’s more that it’s the sort of thing you end up with a whole bunch of. People bring them to backyard parties and bbqs, but we don’t really go to those very much. Would you and I sit down to a platter of deviled eggs?
MS: Like put a plate of them on the coffee table while we watch the Jays game?
RR: That certainly would cement us as a certain sort of people.
MS: Sure why not? Let’s do it. So, how do you make devilled eggs?
RR: Well, you make a bunch of hard-boiled eggs. And then you peel them and cut them and half and scoop the yolks out.
MS: Ok.
RR: And then you add nice mustard like that (points at jar) and, I regret to inform you, mayo.
MS: Hey, I don’t have a problem with mayo.
RR: Maybe we could put yoghurt or something. And paprika. Paprika is very important in devilled eggs and basically no other foods. And then you mash it all together, and put it back in the whites.
MS: Sounds great!
RR: Why are you acting like this is a concept you have never heard of before? You know what a devilled egg is.
MS (coughing and choking)
RR: Did you just eat a spoonful of Dijon mustard?
MS (outraged, struggling to breathe) No! I licked the mustard off the spoon before putting it in the sink. (braces his hands on countertop, hangs head, gasps) Ten out of ten, no regrets.