It is a billion degrees, the air is unbreathable and also yellow, and our AC, which was largely broken, broke more last night. I generally transcribe interesting or amusing or odd dialogues with Mark (or anyone) soon after they happen and keep them in their own file, which I then draw from whenever a post needs a bit of…whatever that is. But I am hot and headachy and grumpy and cannot write a coherent new post this week so here is the whole file as it stands right now. Everyone’s favourite character on this thing is Mark anyway, right?
Discussing Michael Chabon, an old fave, but realizing neither of us have read anything by him in a while:
RR: I’m not sure I know what his recent books even are (takes out phone). Oh wow, he looks old. I remember him being so…not this. (holds up phone) How old would you say he is, judging by this photo?
MS: I dunno, I think he is about 10-12 years older than me?
RR: Oh, that’s right. He is 12 years older than you. (scrolling) Yeah, I haven’t heard of his last few books. But Telegraph Avenue is described as “a modern-day Middlemarch” so now I want to read that.
MS: Cool.
RR: They’ve gotten less frequent…
MS: He was writing for a magazine, so maybe that takes up his time. I don’t remember the name of the magazine. Not the one David Eggers works with…
RR: The Believer.
MS: No.
RR: Does David Eggers work for The Believer?
MS: No.* McSweeney’s.
RR: Dave Eggers or Michael Chabon?**
MS (takes out phone) Oh yeah, he is 12 years older than me.
RR: Did you think I would lie about that?
MS: I guess not. (scrolling) ***
*I woke up at dawn and exclaimed, “Nick Hornby works for The Believer!” And while Michael Chabon, David Eggers, and Nick Hornby have very different bodies of work and (likely) personalities, if you were going to confuse three different white male late-middle-age successful novelists, this one makes sense to me.
**Dave Eggers.
***The conversation kind of went off the rails after this but the upshot is that Michael Chabon used to have a column in Details but now he doesn’t anymore.
While swimming—or at least, while floating in the pool:
RR: So we were thinking of having a Raising Arizona movie night. Have you seen that movie?
MS: I think so… It has River Phoenix in it, right?
RR: No! Nicholas Cage. I don’t think anyone has ever confused those two actors before.
MS: Ah…um, describe it to me? Jog my memory?
RR: It’s about Nicholas Cage falling madly in love with Holly Hunter and they get married, but then they have fertility troubles and they go sort of berserk and decide to kidnap a baby. And John Goodman gets involved and they go an a hijink and there’s an iconic scene where they are a emerging from the primordial ooze somehow. It’s my favourite Coen brothers movie and one of my favourite movies of all time. I used to watch it at slumber parties.
MS (paddling in a circle): And there’s a gay teenager?
RR: No.
MS: Oh, ok.
RR: …
MS: …
RR: You are thinking about My Own Private Idaho!
MS: Ah, yes.
RR: A very different movie also with an American state in the title.
MS: Exactly.
RR: Aren’t you impressed I understand your weird mind?
MS: Sure. I wonder if we could come create a film festive with movies for all fifty states#?
#(If you wish to help with that project, suggestions are welcome. The list currently stands at Sweet Home Alabama, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, My Own Private Idaho, Raising Arizona, The Florida Project, The Hotel New Hampshire. You’re probably thinking about Looking for Alaska but in fact the movie project never got made and it turned into a TV show—I checked.)
And finally:
RR (making dinner, exits kitchen brandishing a bag of frozen pierogies)
MS (reading)
RR: Hey! This bag contains 46 pierogies. What percentage of this bag would you like to eat?
MS (takes the bag, weighs it experimentally in his hands) About half the bag, I would say.
RR (reclaims bag) You want to eat 23 pierogies?
MS: No, I meant us both, together. I thought you were asking about…the royal…you.
RR: Say what you want, I’ll fend for myself.
MS: Ok.
RR: When someone ELSE asks what YOU want to eat and I’m not there, you can assume that that you includes me. Maybe. But if I’m in the room, assume I know what I want.
MS: Yes, ok. I would like to eat one quarter of that bag of pierogies.
RR: Got it (cooks half the bag, eats the other quarter)
